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Convinced he will be sent to jail, Hal imparts fatherly advice and confesses to Malcolm about his poor work ethic.

Malcolm in the Middle

Reese Joins the Army

Everything goes out of control when Reese joins the Army, Hal is accused of insider trading, and Lois falls into a catatonic state.

While visiting her father's secret Canadian family, Lois and the boys are dismayed to find out that the other family is absolutely perfect.

Victor's Other Family

Reese tinkers with Malcolm and Stevie's science experiment; while selling candy for school, Dewey fibs that the money will be used to support the war on terrorism.

Experiment

Malcolm convinces Dewey to do poorly on an IQ test, but Dewey does so poorly that he ends up in a class for the emotionally disturbed; Hal and Craig become obsessed with a dance video-arcade game.

Dewey's Special Class

Hal and Lois each set Polly up on a date, then force her to choose between the two men; Malcolm and Dewey meet baseball legend Reggie Jackson.

Polly in the Middle

While visiting a college campus, Lois insists on staying with Malcolm in the coed dormitory, where she clashes with a power-hungry resident adviser.

Malcolm Visits College

Francis is determined to show his parents why they should not have kicked Reese out; Malcolm helps a football player write a college essay.

Reese's Apartment

Malcolm spends all his free time with his new girlfriend and her family; Lois wages war on a pizza parlor that has been overcharging her.

Malcolm Dates a Family

Lois and her competitive sister must reconcile because Susan (Laurie Metcalf) needs a kidney transplant.

Lois' Sister

Malcolm cannot play softball because of Lois' presence, so she trades him; Reese wants to steal more toilet seats than Francis.

Softball

Grandma Ida announces that she plans to marry a wealthy Chinese man she met on a cruise; Malcolm gets his tongue pierced.

Ida's Boyfriend

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S5 E13 | Lois' Sister